The Dos and Don’ts of Wedding Toasts

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Wedding toastAlthough the art of giving a successful wedding toast is not typically something that the bride or mother of the bride needs to worry about, it is nonetheless a very important element of a successful wedding.  Thus, the “dos and don’ts” of wedding toasts should be understood by everyone involved in the wedding planning process.  Believe me, a poorly executed wedding toast can act like a wet blanket at the reception, so please read the tips below and make sure that whomever is doing the toasting knows how to do it right.  I’ve also included a video at the bottom of the page with some real examples of what to do and what not to do.

The Dos

Try and tell a story about the couple that the audience – the couple’s friends and family members – can relate to.  A good way to do this is to write down a list of adjectives about the couple, and use these adjectives to build a story that really connects with the audience.  The idea is to highlight the best aspects of the bride and groom so that they can shine on their big day in front of all their friends and family members.

Another good best practice is to start the toast with a bang.  This could be in the form of a joke, or a highly meaningful and impactful statement that really tugs at the ole’ heartstrings.  The toast should also be structured in 3 parts – a beginning, middle and end.  For example, tell something about the past, tell something about the present, and give a hope for the future.

The Don’ts

Generally speaking, wedding toasts should be meaningful and should truly encompass who the couple is.  Therefore, anyone giving a toast must ensure that it is highly personal – generic verbiage simply won’t do.

Also, a wedding toast should never be akin to a roast of the couple.  In other words, a good toast should stay away from stories about binge drinking, lap dancing, bad habits, etc.  Being too risqué is likely to alienate some people, especially the couple’s older relatives.

Another thing to avoid is overly long, drawn out speeches.  A good toast is less than 5 minutes long, because anything longer than that will put the audience to sleep.


Wedding toasts are an intricate part of any wedding, because they help to define the happy couple’s new life together.  A good wedding toast is highly personal and is structured as a 3-part story designed to make the happy couple shine on their big day.  It should start with a bang, and the best wedding toasts should make the audience both laugh and cry.  Avoid roasting the couple, being too risqué, being too generic, and speaking for too long.  If all of these tips are satisfied, you can bet that the wedding toast will absolutely rock the house!  Good luck!

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