If you’re a bride-to-be, your big day should be a highly personalized event. Like that old Burger King slogan, it’s your wedding and you should be able to Have It Your Way. As such, don’t be afraid to forego some of the age old wedding etiquette rules and customs. What follows is a list of 5 such rules that are ok to break.
First off, traditional wedding dress colors are no longer mandatory. For example, it’s no longer necessary to have a white wedding. Brides these days are wearing a wide variety of fabulous colors, including countless shades of pink, peach, green, yellow and blue. And this color flexibility applies to the bridesmaid dresses too (in fact, the newest trend is multi-colored bridal parties!).
Second, some of the traditional mother of the bride rules can be thrown out the window. For example, it is no longer expected that the parents will pay for the wedding. This tradition began decades ago when people got married young, but now that people are generally getting married later in life, they tend to be more financially capable and hence are expected to foot the bill themselves. Another traditional MOB rule is that mom can’t host the bridal shower. This is another rule that is passé and can be thrown out.
Third, it is now acceptable to point the wedding guests to the registry. In the past, this was considered presumptuous and so word-of-mouth was the primary mode of communiqué. But now people are busier and it’s ok to put the word out there. It’s also perfectly acceptable to have a wedding website which makes it super easy for your guests to buy your gift. It’s even ok to say that you would prefer cash!
Fourth, if you are having guests come in from out of town the night before the wedding, it’s ok to NOT invite them to the rehearsal dinner! The rehearsal dinner is traditionally supposed to be a ‘thank you’ to all the folks involved and participating in the wedding, but in recent years this affair has sort of expanded into more of a welcome dinner for early-arriving guests. Well, this is expensive, so limit the rehearsal dinner invitees to only your closest friends and family members.
Finally, you don’t need to allow single guests to bring dates. Decades ago, adding the “plus one” to the wedding invites was the norm, but considering the ever-rising average cost of a wedding these days, omitting this courtesy can really help trim your budget. Of course the line is a little fuzzy in terms of what justifies the plus one. I think it’s probably ok to allow fiancés and obviously spouses, but not boyfriends or girlfriends. Yes you might aggravate a small minority of your guests, but oh well – it’s your money, not theirs.
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