How to be a Terrible Bridesmaid

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Terrible bridesmaidFor any bride-to-be, having supportive bridesmaids is extremely important.  They are the bride’s go-to gals, and are generally expected to help the bride (or the groom, mother of the bride, grandmother of the bride, etc.) through this sometimes stressful event.  Unfortunately, not all bridesmaids see it that way.  So if you’re a bridesmaid and you want to try your best to ruin the wedding and alienate the bride, here are some tips.

One way to be a terrible bridesmaid is to simply ignore your expected responsibilities.  For example, you could skip the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, the planning activities, etc.  Heck, why not miss the rehearsal dinner too?  And if you really want to be terrible, a good technique is to set the expectation that you’ll be there, only to cancel at the last minute.  And make sure you do this over and over again.

Another way to be a terrible bridesmaid is to display a blatant lack of support toward the bride.  For example, if the bride wants you to help her find a wedding dress, tell her you can’t make it.  If she asks for your advice or opinion on things like the flowers, food or venue, you can simply ignore her.  If she’s getting cold feet, make sure you remind her of all the groom’s many faults.  You get the idea – your terribleness on this one is only limited by your own imagination and creativity.

Another excellent way to be terrible is to show a blatant lack of respect to the bride.  Yes, the things I’ve already mentioned above are also disrespectful, but being truly terrible requires taking this to a whole new level.  One great way to be disrespectful is to show up to the bridal shower late and leave early, all while being dressed like a slob.  Another great way to be terribly disrespectful is to ignore the chosen bridesmaid dress style or color scheme and wear what you want anyway.  And for bonus points, you could wear white or a skintight, ultra-sexy outfit!  And don’t forget to make sure you always have a bad attitude when talking to the bride, her family and the other bridesmaids.

The final way to be a terrible bridesmaid is to put on a “show” at the wedding reception.  Start by getting completely drunk.  Then make an inappropriate speech, flash some skin, continuously launch F-bombs all night long, and flirt with every guy in the place including the groom.  Earn bonus points for dancing on the table, yelling at someone at the top of your lungs, or falling on the dance floor.  Whatever it takes to be a complete spectacle is what you’ll need to do if you truly want to be a terrible bridesmaid.

To sum it up, all brides have an expectation of help, support and respect from her bridesmaids, but not all bridesmaids agree.  It doesn’t matter if you’re ignorant, resentful or just stupid, it’s not difficult to be a terrible bridesmaid and ruin the bride’s wedding. 

So if you’re a bridesmaid and you want to stick it to the bride, follow the advice in this post and you’ll do just fine.  Just remember that Karma exists – what goes around comes around, so watch your back!

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