After the Wedding: 5 Ways to Wind Up in Divorce Court!

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divorceI don’t normally dole out marriage advice on this wedding blog, but given that today is New Year’s Eve I thought I’d break tradition and make that the topic of today’s post.  More specifically, there were several research studies conducted in 2012 that shed some good light on what NOT to do if you expect your marriage to be permanent.

One thing that spells trouble is not getting into arguments.  Yes, you heard that correctly – not arguing is actually a recipe for disaster.  Now, I am not saying that you need to periodically get into the boxing ring with your spouse, but blowing off steam in the form of a verbal argument is usually a good thing.  The reason is that arguments can help communicate things to your partner that might not otherwise be understood.  Plus, bottling things up on the inside is unhealthy, and is clearly detrimental to a couple’s strength of communication overall.  Bottom line: never go to bed angry.

Another surefire way to end up in divorce court is to excessively play video games.  Yes, the same could be said for excessive gambling, drug use, and drinking, but in 2012 scientists actually studied the negative impact of being a gamer!  Specifically, it was found that if only one partner regularly plays video games, there is a whopping 75% chance that the other partner will become unsatisfied.  That said, when both partners are gamers, there generally is no issue.  Bottom line: learn to love video games if your partner does.

Another way to shorten your marriage – if you’re a man – is to have an antagonistic relationship with the in-laws.  Believe it or not, research has proven that this is a bad sign.  Specifically, a 26-year study concluded that husbands with good in-law relations are 20% less likely to wind up in divorce court.  Interestingly, these findings correlate to the husbands, but the opposite is true for the wives.  That is, wives with good in-law relations actually have a greater chance of getting divorced.  Bottom line: if you’re a man, make friends with the in-laws but if you’re a woman, keep your distance.

Another way to shorten your marriage’s shelf life is to place too much emphasis on the wedding.  Yes, all brides want the proverbial wedding of their dreams, but you must always keep in mind that the wedding is not the end-all be all.  The risk is that unrealistic wedding expectations could lead to a letdown which could spiral into a full blown depression affectionately known as the post wedding blues.  It’s sort of like a reverse honeymoon period.  Bottom line: remember that the wedding is only one blip on the proverbial radar of married life, so get over it.

The final way to all but guarantee a short-lived marriage is to not put forth enough of an effort to make it work.  If you think planning the wedding was hard, wait until you’ve been married for a few years!  Yep, marriage is hard, and often involves both the good and the bad.  Therefore, you must pay special attention to making things work, even when you don’t feel like it.  Bottom line: marriage, like anything worthwhile in life, requires effort and thus it’s critical to treat it as such.

I hope you enjoyed this list of 5 surefire ways to shorten your marriage.  For more tips on this topic, check out this great article from foryourmarriage.org.  In the final analysis, if you’ve been having marital problems, now would be a good time to start working on ways to turn things around.  Whether it’s your 2013 New Year’s resolution or just an ad-hoc epiphany, if you realize things are going downhill, don’t wait until it’s too late to recover.  Act now…and good luck!

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