One of the more overlooked elements of the wedding planning process is the selection and preparation of the flower girl. This is a really nice touch to consider adding to your ceremony, as your wedding guests will absolutely love it. It adds yet another element of emotion to your Big Day, especially if the flower girl does a little “extra” such as tossing flower petals as she walks down the aisle. However, flower girls are children and so implementing this concept is truly more of an art than a science. For this reason, you must be sure you’ve made the proper choice in terms of who will fill this role, and you must adequately prepare her so she does not get overwhelmed at the worst possible moment.
So the first decision is who will serve as your flower girl. If you’re like most families, you likely have several options so you’ll need to narrow it down to the best option. Generally speaking, the best flower girls will be somewhat outgoing; shy girls are obviously more likely to have a panic attack whilst under the proverbial microscope. The flower girl should also be well-behaved and well-grounded, as this is a big responsibility that should be treated as such. In terms of the best age, try to avoid going too young. Very young children can easily get overwhelmed and/or distracted in front of an audience. Although this obviously depends on the personality of the girl, generally speaking you’ll want her to be at least 5 years old.
Once you’ve decided on the best flower girl for your wedding, the next step is to essentially train her. Remember that this is an adult affair and therefore most young girls will not have been exposed to it previously. In my experience the best way to consummate this training is to create an easy-to-read “cheat sheet” and use it as the focal point of the preparation discussion. Then, rehearse, rehearse again, and rehearse some more! Your goal with these rehearsals is not only to make sure she knows exactly what to do and when, but also to teach her the proper posture, walking pace, confidence and preferred way to toss the petals (i.e., grab small clumps and gently scatter them while walking).
The final decision is her attire. In most cases her dress should match the bridesmaid dresses, but you’ll want to ensure that she is ok with the look because otherwise her confidence might not be where it needs to be. And of course her outfit, including the shoes and accessories, should be comfortable – if she’s not comfortable, it could open the door to an undesirable performance (i.e., rebelling, error-inducing nervousness, being distracted and forgetful, etc.).
As you can see, including a flower girl in your wedding is a wonderful idea, but you must make sure it’s done properly. Choose the best possible candidate to fill the role, train / prepare her thoroughly, and make sure her wedding attire is comfy. Follow these 3 easy steps, and you should not have any performance problems.
For more specific details on her role, as well as some dos and don’ts, check out this great article from theknot.com. Good luck!
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