Your granddaughter (or grandson) is finally getting married! This is truly and exciting time for you, especially if it is the first of your grandchildren to walk down the aisle. However, it can also be nerve- wracking, and that is understandable.
How You Can Prepare
This is certainly completely different when it was your son or daughter who got married. Just as exciting – there’s no doubt about that. But for many grandparents, there is much uncertainty about what to do or expect. Here are some tips for you.
- Be thoughtful with your gift. If the couple has chosen to do a wedding registry, then choosing something there is a fool proof wedding present. Lots of couples also prefer cash gifts as it is often more practical. This is definitely appropriate for you. If you decide to give a cash present, it will be up to you how much it will be. A lot of that will depend on your own budget. Whether you decide to pick something from the registry or to give cash, consider adding another present with sentimental value. Something of a family heirloom will be a great choice: a piece of jewelry, something that was part of your own wedding, a vintage item that you own or was given to you by your own mother or grandmother.
- The bridal showers. You may be invited to bridal showers and other pre- wedding festivities. If you are, send in an RSVP and attend if you can. However, there might be certain activities where you are not included. Do not get hurt! Some parties may simply be inappropriate to have grandmothers at. Think lingerie shower or a bridal luncheon organized by the bridesmaids that target the younger wedding guests.
- Something old, something borrowed. Grandparents, especially grandmothers, are the best sources of the ‘something old’ for the bride’s ensemble. Offer to lend a piece of jewelry, or even something that can be worn inconspicuously like a vintage hairpin or handkerchief. Don’t get hurt though if they say no, some couples may opt to not go traditional and decide to not do the whole ‘something old, something blue’ thing.
- Seek advice before going shopping. While some brides are very particular with what will be worn at the wedding, you should be able to wear something that you are comfortable with, especially if you have health or mobility issues. Grandmothers do not need to wear the ‘wedding color’. You can choose a color that is flattering for you, although you should veer away from black, red, and shades of white and cream. Grandfathers can wear the same attire as the fathers of the bride and groom, or the attire that will be worn by the male guests at the wedding.
- Know what to expect, and be tolerant. Lots of couples today are veering away from tradition and asking their grandparents to be part of the wedding party, although it is unlikely for that to be common. Some ask their grandmothers to be flower girls or bridesmaids – a lot depends on their relationships with their grandmas. Feel comfortable to accept or decline and take into consideration how you feel about it if you are asked, as well as you physical ability to do it. Be patient and tolerant. You might see pets at the wedding or even part of the wedding party, or perhaps the bride and her bridesmaids wearing boots with their dresses. Be patient and remember that times continuously change and modern couples do things differently. Do not be critical of these things, but do ask what to expect so you can prepare.
Enjoy seeing your grandchild walk down the aisle and listen to their vows, have fun at the wedding with family and friends. It is a moment to cherish forever.