Wedding Invitations - Getting It Right from the Start

Your invitation is the first thing most people will see, so it's essential to get it right.

Whether you're having your own invitations designed, hand crafted or are planning to buy personalized invites, you'll want to make sure that you get the perfect design at the right budget.

Creating Your Guest List

Before you really start on this, you'll need to have discussed budgets which for most couples dictate how many people they can invite to both the wedding and the reception. 

You may find that you will invite everyone on your list to the wedding, but only a select few to the reception.  This is increasingly common, and many couples compromise by having an evening event such as a party or disco which all their friends may attend.

It may take you several weeks to put together your final list of wedding guests. 

Start with  both the bride and groom writing down your the list of family and friends that they would like to be present for their wedding day.  Then both the brides parents and the grooms parents create their own list of friends and family that they wish to invite. 

The next step is one that requires tact , diplomacy and infinite patience - how do you whittle down the massive list to the number that you are able to invite?  This may be done by negotiation between all parties, but remembering that it's tradition to have the guests of the bride and groom on different sides of the church, so having widely differing numbers may be a little awkward. 

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Once a final guest list has been agreed upon, it is usually seen as the duty of the mother of the bride to send out the invitations, together with her husband (if married) and her daughter.  However, in practice, it may well be something that the mother and daughter enjoy and prepare together.

Do ensure that you check the final list with the grooms family, and let them have a copy of the list, where possible, so they can help you in planning for final numbers (not everyone will RSVP!)

You may need to liaise with various family members to get the latest correct addresses for people that you haven't been in touch with for a while, but it's worth checking now, rather than having last minute panics when you realise that they haven't replied and you have to chase them in the weeks just before the wedding. 

The earlier you send out your invitations, the easier it is for people to make plans for holiday to be able to attend and join in with your celebrations.  However, if there is likely to be a delay in selecting , printing or making the final invitations, some people choose to send out a "save the date" card, which allows people to book the date of the wedding day in their diaries, without having to have a formal invitation.

For a cocktail wedding party invitation, which can be a classy but low stress option, you'll want to ensure your guests know what to wear and what to expect, and the style of invitation will help to convey this.  In particular, a more casual invitation, will imply a more relaxed style of event. 

If you'd like to help guests with a little advice on what to wear, you could include an enclosure with your invitations with some simple tips on whether it's formal, semi formal or casual and what styles of dress would therefore be appropriate.

Of course, with many of the social networking sites, it's easier to let everyone know, but for older relatives , a save the date card or phone call may be all it takes to ensure they are able to attend.

Invitation Wording

How you word your invitation, will depend on the formality of your wedding,  and also whether your parents remain married, or are separated or divorced.

This is a point at which some couples panic, but it's unlikely that your own unique family situation hasn't arisen before, and there will be a template for the correct etiquette for wording your invitations available.

Recommended Resources

Etiquette on Wedding Gifts - tips on buying gifts for the newly married couple

Wedding Guest Attire -  ideas on suitable clothing & outfits for weddings