Weddings are sentimental and exciting events for everyone, but if your daughter is the one in the wedding gown, it’s always an especially emotional day. That little girl you raised has grown into a woman, fallen in love, and is about to begin a family of her own with a new partner by her side. But when you imagined your daughter’s wedding day, did you picture a smile on her face at the altar… or a microphone in your hand at the reception?
Stepping into your role
You’ve always known this day would come, but you probably didn’t spend very much time thinking about your own role in it. Being the mother of the bride is about more than a brief trip down the aisle. It’s a continuation of the job you’ve had for years, because your mission is to make your daughter’s day as memorable and peaceful as possible.
Of course, sometimes that means getting out of the way. This is your daughter’s special day, and while your support is valuable, your presence isn’t required at all times. However, when the spotlight’s on you, it’s definitely your time to celebrate your special bond and tell the whole world – or at least, everyone who matters to the happy couple – how proud you are.
Writing your speech
Are you having trouble thinking of the right words to say? Simply allow yourself to sit down and think about what your daughter means to you. The following tips will help you fine tune those feelings into a speech that’s perfectly appropriate, easy to deliver, interesting to hear and worthy of your special relationship with your daughter:
1. Keep it brief
Write a few paragraphs at the very most. Your daughter’s guests will be waiting to raise their glasses and go back to dancing and celebrating, and yours won’t be the first or last speech of the night. If you keep it simple and short, your words will have a bigger impact, and people won’t get distracted or stop paying attention.
2. Recall a few memories
Your brain is probably already chock-full of memories, from the heartbreaking to the hilarious and everything in between. Write down some of the funniest or most touching experiences that you shared together. Tug at guests’ heartstrings with a story about her as a very little girl, or make them laugh with high school dating anecdotes. Many of them only know her as an adult, so this is your chance to provide some delightful insight into who she is.
3. Compliment the groom
Your daughter is adding a new member to your family, so make sure you welcome him with open arms from the very beginning. Describe the first time you met him, thank him for making her so happy, and share a detail or two about their early relationship to remind everyone how far they’ve come.
4. Thank everyone
Even if you’re not hosting or funding the event, you’ll be speaking to an audience full of people who made an effort to make your daughter’s day special. If it’s a big wedding, you might not get to thank each of them individually, so the speech is your opportunity to emphasize how grateful you are. If your daughter lives far away, you may also thank the friends who have treated her like family while you were apart.
Preparing for your speech
If you’re nervous about public speaking, remember; there’s far more pressure on the best man and maid of honor to make memorable speeches. You’re not expected to bring down the house with laughter or surprise your daughter with an impromptu dance performance, so don’t hold yourself to sky-high expectations or try to be someone you’re not. Instead, just take a deep breath and remember these tips:
1. Bring notes
It doesn’t matter if you’ve memorized your speech or decided to “wing it”; you need to be prepared with a few specific things to say. Print out your entire speech, outline it on a note card, or just jot down a few things to say as you get ready that morning. You never know when you’ll draw a blank, especially at such an emotionally charged moment.
2. Stay composed beforehand
It’s always okay to let loose at a wedding and get into the spirit of love and celebration. However, you should probably wait until after the speech to have a few drinks or throw your hair around the dance floor. Make sure you moderate your behavior before it’s time to talk. Remember: there will be pictures and videos of this moment.
3. Smile
Your heart is filled with joy and pride, but does your face know it? If you focus too intently on your notes or get nervous about being the center of attention, you might not realize that your expression looks scared, serious or angry instead of light and happy. Make sure everyone knows your well wishes are sincere by smiling throughout your speech.
4. End with a raised glass
Your speech isn’t a true wedding toast until you’ve invited all the guests to lift their glasses in honor of the bride and groom. After you’ve wished your daughter and her new husband a lifetime of joy, ask all their friends and families to echo the sentiment with raised drinks and celebratory sips. You may even get creative or personal, and finish with a salutation from your religion or ancestral country. For example, Jewish and Irish blessings are often short, sweet and fun to repeat as a group.
If you’re still feeling uncertain – or having trouble coming up with the right words – try watching wedding speeches and speech tutorials on YouTube. You might also find transcripts and examples of wedding speeches online, which can inspire the structure and content of your particular toast.
A well-written, warmly delivered speech can leave a lasting impression on your daughter’s heart, but your presence at her wedding is already enough. Instead of driving yourself crazy trying to find the perfect words, just savor the experience of watching your daughter become a wife and create a new life.
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